{"id":3090,"date":"2022-12-19T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-12-19T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/?p=3090"},"modified":"2022-12-09T17:33:17","modified_gmt":"2022-12-09T16:33:17","slug":"from-the-truth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/2022\/12\/from-the-truth\/","title":{"rendered":"from The Truth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Image: <\/strong>\u00a9 by Andres Stadelmann<\/span> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Author:<\/strong> Andres Stadelmann<\/p>\n\n\n\n

VI.<\/strong>
It was late August when I realized my Nonno was going to die
He had relapsed heavily
Never left unattended
And although we had not seen him for weeks
It was there, at the beach, that I crawled into my parents\u2019 bed and cried with them
I was 11.
A week later we were back home with him
He barely inched out of his room
Limping towards the bathroom
And I, stuck, watching from the hallway
An image framed from a movie
(I\u2019m still stuck there to this day)
The day he felt better we were told it was time to say goodbye
And we did
But the next day
Standing up on the toilet bowl
(My father had lifted me up
To hug me while he cried)
I started to imagine something special had happened during that last farewell
A final stroke on the cheek
A soft smile

It was only years later
When I saw him holding his own father\u2019s hand
while we each took our turns in that room
He looked at me knowingly while I sobbed
And held the old man while he died
(He didn\u2019t cry at the funeral)
It was there that I realized that it wasn\u2019t a physical sign,
something we could hold on to
But that the dead always call out for us before they\u2019ve died
They know nothing will fill that void
So they just tell us
Gently
Lovingly
Goodbye<\/p>\n\n\n\n

XVI.<\/strong>
Every day that passes I look more like my father
This thing, I have struggled against it a lot
I’ve wanted to tear it away from me
Yet it’s always there
It comes out in spurts
Fierce and without warning
And then it stays
It marks me forever
And this thing consumes me
It erases years
Or rather it adds them
I think of that middle-aged man
Of all that he lived through
Of the sweat he shed
The blood
The semen
But for what?
And for whom?
I feel like I’ve already lived enough to be able to understand it
But not even cigarettes
Or fucking beer
Don’t change the facts
We have the same body
Made to renounce everything
To vent without regard
An anger that makes you sweat
Curse
Hate
Kill
And that child
Collateral
I erased his name

But it’s always children who know how to speak the truth
Like those clouds suspended in bursts in the blue sky
While the lightning behind thunders in silence<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Image: \u00a9 by Andres Stadelmann Author: Andres Stadelmann VI.It was late August when I realized my Nonno was going to dieHe had relapsed heavilyNever left unattendedAnd although we had not seen him for weeksIt was there, at the beach, that I crawled into my parents\u2019 bed and cried with themI was 11.A week later we were […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1002511,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[74],"tags":[36],"class_list":{"0":"post-3090","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-2022-winter","7":"tag-poetry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1002511"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3090"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3090\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}