{"id":2293,"date":"2021-12-06T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-12-06T07:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/?p=2293"},"modified":"2021-12-04T12:35:40","modified_gmt":"2021-12-04T11:35:40","slug":"poems-by-alex-perez","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/2021\/12\/poems-by-alex-perez\/","title":{"rendered":"Poems by Alex P\u00e9rez"},"content":{"rendered":"

Image:<\/strong> \u00a9 Alex P\u00e9rez<\/p>\n

Author:<\/strong> Alex P\u00e9rez<\/p>\n

song of adelphity<\/strong><\/p>\n

content warnings: self-harm, description of physical pain\n<\/p>\n

I
\nit seems to be highly recommended
\nto have your heart broken
\nyour head broken
\nmaybe your arm even
\nI’ve tried
\nbut never found a way to be at ease
\nwith the concept of self harm
\ncells do it enough by themselves<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n\n\n

II
\nhave you ever had a headache
\na deep profound stomach ache
\nyour period riping off your womb
\nthe teeth coming out
\neven though you’ve turned 18 a while ago
\nyour bones
\nyour flesh
\ndriving you mad
\nhave you ever felt the pressure
\nso hard on your weak back
\nthat you felt it was needed to remove all of your fur with the help of cold bands of cheap wax
\ntaking a bit of skin with it
\nthat’s how it goes
\nhave you never had a moment of mourning
\nthinking back years from now
\nremembering something gone that left a hole that you thought would never be healed
\nhave you never had someone hurting you more than you ever imagined you could hurt yourself
\n?<\/p>\n\n\n

III
\neverything is left behind
\neverything is said alright
\nand if you’re not strong enough for us all
\nstill I will ask you
\nto listen
\nto go to the core, to the root and think twice
\nthe how and why
\nif you have yourself
\nI will have your back<\/p>\n

\u00a7
\n\u00a7<\/p>\n\n\n

the body shape<\/strong><\/p>\nthe body shape
\ni imagine
\ni embody the un-other
\nhow far from the sheet
\nunder
\ni go under way too softly
\ngentle
\ni knot my arms
\nfeel the fingers on my back
\nthis may work
\ni forget whose touch it was
\nwhat if
\ni can reproduce
\nthe softness of uncertainty
\nthe shake
\nthe breath
\nfall asleep in silence
\nhalf awake
\ni lay still<\/p>\n\n\n

\u00a7
\n\u00a7<\/p>\n

there was a window<\/strong><\/p>\n

content warning: description of physical pain\n<\/p>\n

I need to work on my saying skills
\nto try is not to be nor having any kind of interest towards you or you or you
\nI do not want to resist
\nI do not want to get stuck again
\na year from now
\nwill the stomach ache be gone
\nconstantly trying to achieve the insatiable fantasy of existing
\nnot even close
\nI never get the tone right
\ngoing out and running till stomach gets ripped out
\nfeet on the ground
\nmy back aches since I can\u2019t move<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a7
\n\u00a7<\/p>\n

somewhere behind your eyes<\/strong><\/p>\n

I would like to write a poem about you
\nmaybe even
\npoems
\nabout you
\nif you don\u2019t mind me doing so
\nI wonder if you hated that I ordered decaf
\nI couldn\u2019t drink it until it was cold
\nand I wonder
\nwhy I care
\nwhen we were drinking coffee I stopped thinking about
\nthe taxes I have to pay
\nnot that it was on my mind before that
\nbut still
\nI do not know why I see the things you can\u2019t see
\nyou said
\nyou can\u2019t see them in your head
\nonly somewhere behind your eyes
\nthis is not a love poem but
\nI want to remember how you said it was awkward
\nhow you asked if I had been anxious
\nand the relief to be able to say
\nof course
\nsure I was
\nit was not because of you
\nyou didn\u2019t ask
\nI saw the image in my head
\nso I wouldn\u2019t fear anymore
\nbut you couldn\u2019t
\nI\u2019ve said why already
\nbefore you asked you always said
\nlike a song
\ncan I ask ?
\nlike a poem
\nI\u2019m sorry I haven\u2019t done the work in other languages yet
\ndo you mind
\nif I take my time ?
\nwe could keep asking questions and answering with blunt emotion
\nand make them all think it\u2019s pure theory\n<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Image: \u00a9 Alex P\u00e9rez Author: Alex P\u00e9rez song of adelphity content warnings: self-harm, description of physical pain I it seems to be highly recommended to have your heart broken your head broken maybe your arm even I’ve tried but never found a way to be at ease with the concept of self harm cells do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1001995,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[36],"class_list":{"0":"post-2293","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-2021-winter","7":"tag-poetry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1001995"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}