{"id":1136,"date":"2019-12-05T12:00:37","date_gmt":"2019-12-05T11:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/?p=1136"},"modified":"2019-12-05T11:55:22","modified_gmt":"2019-12-05T10:55:22","slug":"a-usual-christmas-dinner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.unil.ch\/musemagazine\/2019\/12\/a-usual-christmas-dinner\/","title":{"rendered":"A Usual Christmas Dinner"},"content":{"rendered":"

Image: <\/span><\/strong>‘Girl!#1’\u00a9 Martin Micewicz – Source: CC Licence<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Author:<\/strong> Leah Juliette Didisheim<\/p>\n

Trigger Warning: this text contains mentions of sexual harassment<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

The bells are ringing. It\u2019s really cold, it\u2019s probably going to snow very soon. The air is dry, my cheeks are coloured in a nice pink. I\u2019m shivering. That\u2019s why I\u2019m hurrying along the street. That\u2019s really important: I\u2019m hurrying to arrive at the door at the end of the road because I\u2019m cold and not because I\u2019m excited to get there. I don\u2019t want to fake it. I don\u2019t want to pretend one more time. I reached the point where I don\u2019t want to see my family anymore. Don\u2019t misunderstand me, I love my family. There is just this one person who I profoundly dislike.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s always the same, I ring the bell, <\/em>he answers the door. \u201cHi my lovely. So nice to see you. I really missed you. I guess you\u2019ll just have to make up for it this evening.\u201d he says, sending his putrid breath on me. I smile and I get inside. \u201cNot that quickly\u201d he breathes in my ear grabbing my ass. I bite my teeth and do as if nothing happened. When I finally get rid of him, I know I won\u2019t have much time before he comes back. So I go and hug my cousins, they grew up so much, it makes me nostalgic. I finish saying hi to everybody. I don\u2019t have the time to sit down that he calls me to help him in the kitchen. Nobody suspects anything. I grit, smile and leave my family behind. I know what\u2019s waiting for me in there but what am I supposed to do? He tries to grab my breasts and kisses my neck. I feign going to the bathroom. I take out a tissue to wipe the tears rolling on my cheeks.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 <\/em>
\nDinner is ready. I\u2019m not hungry. I go anyway. I eat what this disgusting creature made. He makes jokes. \u201cWhen will you bring your girlfriend, we\u2019re all very excited to finally meet her.\u201d As if. As if I was going to bring the only person I want to spend my life with at this horrible table. He made me hate seeing my family. He made me hate boys. \u201cI don\u2019t know, she\u2019s quite busy this time of year.\u201d He seems satisfied with my answer. Of course it\u2019s a trick, he wants me for himself.<\/em>
\nWe painfully reach the pudding. Honestly, how long do people take to eat a piece of cake? He keeps looking at me, touching my legs under the table. His wife, next to him, is way too obsessed with the children putting chocolate everywhere. There he is, sexually harassing me under the nose of everybody, my face decomposing and he evilly smiles and nobody gives a shit about it. The coffees arrive. That\u2019s it, the time I always escape. I pretend that I have to wake up early the next day. I say a general goodbye to everybody. Like this, I don\u2019t have to get near him again this evening. Until next year. I open the door, walk on the porch, close it behind me and I finally breathe.<\/em><\/p>\n

I finished walking. I\u2019m in front of this nightmary house. I put on my happy face. I ring the doorbell. He<\/em> opens. \u201cHappy Christmas uncle.\u201d I enter smiling and he closes the door behind me, his eyes eating me alive.<\/p>\n